Home for the Holidays with Eating Disorder Signs: What Now?
In Collaboration with Equip
Alexia Davis says she knew something was wrong with her daughter, who was in eating disorder recovery, when certain hallmark symptoms reappeared over the holiday season.
“The signs that told me she was relapsing were things like going back to old coping skills or habits, such as isolating and limiting their food choices,” says Davis, who is a Family Mentor at Equip, a virtual eating disorder treatment program. “I wish I had looked out for food restriction and avoidance, and expressions of anger anxiety leading up to the holidays.”
Davis’s experience isn’t unique: while relapse can happen at any time of year, the holiday season is often a particularly challenging time for those in recovery from an eating disorder. Family dynamics, a heightened focus on food, and financial concerns can trigger an enormous amount of stress and reactivate eating disorder thoughts and behaviors.
And for some families, having their loved one at home more during the holidays might set off alarm bells that they’re struggling with a new or developing eating disorder. Maybe they’ve returned from college and something seems off with their behavior, or they’ve lost or gained weight, or are showing food, weight, or exercise concerns that weren’t an issue in the past.
So what can loved ones do when eating disorder signs rear their head over the holidays?
The Signs to Look Out For
Eating disorders show up in a multitude of ways. Sometimes the symptoms appear as textbook examples of eating disorder stereotypes, but sometimes they’re subtle, nuanced, and easy to miss, especially given that diet culture has seeped into every corner of our society. Some warning signs to potentially look out for include:
- Expressing fear of gaining weight
- Uncontrolled episodes of overeating
- Distress over body image
- Lack of interest in eating based on how foods taste, look, or smell
- Compulsive exercise
Given the “new year, new me” mentality around New Year’s resolutions, weight loss conversations can be rampant, making it even tougher to distinguish what’s considered “typical” and what’s problematic.
“Because we live in a world where disordered eating is normalized, especially during the holidays, sometimes early signs of eating disorders can go unnoticed or even be seen as something to praise,” says Elizabeth Gordon, Psy.D, licensed clinical psychologist at Equip. “Many eating disorders begin as diets, so loved ones should be on the lookout for any talk about wanting to lose weight, eat ‘healthier,’ look more ‘fit’ or ‘toned,’ save up calories for holiday meals or desserts, or reduce or eliminate certain food groups.”
Davis, whose loved one began falling back into habits of restriction and feelings of anxiety over the holidays, feels it’s critical for caregivers to stay extra vigilant at this time of year. “It can often be easy to overlook these emotions because the holidays—although exciting—can be a busy and stressful time for everyone,” she says. “Noticing if your loved one expresses feeling anxious or upset about eating with or around others is something to look out for.” If you’re unsure whether your loved one is dealing with an eating disorder, Equip’s eating disorder screener can help.
Why Family-Based Treatment (FBT) May Be the Right Move
While spotting the signs of an emerging or recurring eating disorder can be a difficult task itself, addressing the issue with the right support for your loved one may be even tougher. Thankfully, evidence-based methods like family based treatment (FBT) can help ensure those with eating disorders stand the best possible chance at recovery. FBT, the gold standard treatment for children and adolescents with eating disorders, brings the patient’s family directly into the recovery process, empowering them to renourish their loved one and build a recovery-supporting environment at home. At Equip, families do that with the support of a dedicated, multidisciplinary treatment team that includes a medical doctor, registered dietitian, therapist, family mentor, and peer mentor.
“Eating disorders are often considered to be ‘egosyntonic,’ meaning that eating disorder sufferers feel that restriction and other eating disorder behaviors align with their beliefs and goals,” Gordon explains. “Therefore, it is often very difficult for people with eating disorders to make changes to their eating behaviors on their own. This is where FBT comes in. When caregivers are able to step in and help their loved one get their nutritional needs met, especially during the holiday season, then the recovery process can begin.”
Davis says that FBT can support caregivers who may be struggling by allowing them to participate in their loved one’s recovery, while also learning skills for themselves that will continue to be helpful in other situations. “FBT gives all caregivers the opportunity to receive the tools and support they need to help their loved ones fully recover,” she says.
Trusting Your Intuition to Help Your Loved Ones
Knowing when or how to intervene or raise the subject of disordered eating symptoms can be uncomfortable, awkward, and even painful. Gordon says that while it may be a thorny subject for caregivers to broach, if something seems off with a loved one’s behavior over the holidays, it’s worth investigating.
“Trust your gut,” she emphasizes. “A lot of people who struggle with eating disorders believe that they are fine and don’t want treatment, but if something seems off to you, don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional.”
Davis agrees, and advises parents and caregivers to be bold and face a loved one’s new or recurring eating disorder symptoms head on. “Don’t be afraid to open a conversation and reach out for help,” she says. “An eating disorder is no one’s fault, but it is never too late to help your loved one begin the road to recovery. Opening up this conversation will be difficult and uncomfortable at first and you may even be met with anger and denial. But remind them that your only goal is to help them live a full, happy, and—most importantly—emotionally and physically healthy life.”
A version of this article first appeared on equip.health.
Join the Conversation!
ANAD and Equip are coming together for a special Instagram Live to continue the conversation and explore this topic in greater depth. During the event, they’ll share insights, answer questions, and discuss ways to support individuals and communities affected by these issues. Join the discussion on December 3rd at 6pm CT by tuning in at instagram.com/anadhelp.