School's in Session: Supporting a Student with an Eating Disorder
By: Equip
As summer winds down, a new school year is just around the corner. The back-to-school season comes with excitement and nervous jitters for most kids, but for those dealing with or in recovery from an eating disorder, it can be even more complicated. And for the parents of students with eating disorders, it can be equally difficult to know how to help during this often tough transition.
Thankfully, if someone you love is affected by an eating disorder, there are things you can do to support their recovery as school comes back in session. Read on to learn why the back-to-school transition can be challenging, and what you can do to help.
Why back-to-school can be hard for those in recovery
Transitions are hard, full stop. This is true for most people, and in many different contexts: changing jobs, moving to a new city, big life events like marriage or having kids. When it feels like everything is in upheaval, people often grasp at parts of their life that they have control over—and for those vulnerable to eating disorders, that can mean disordered behaviors.
The back-to-school transition can be particularly challenging for those in recovery from or struggling with an eating disorder. A new school year presents some distinct challenges related to body image and eating, such as:
- Social dynamics. Kids may feel compelled to make an impression on their peers through their appearance, which may lead them to fixate on their body shape in comparison to others. This can trigger or fuel body image concerns.
- Eating with others. Lunchtime anxiety—whether about the food itself, social dynamics at play, self-consciousness, or something else—may prompt students to eat (or not eat) in a certain way if they feel it may help them fit in.
- Overall stress. Academics, social concerns, and the disruption of a big transition can all cause stress. This stress, in turn, can provoke appetite-suppressing tension, reducing a kid’s natural desire to eat.
- Clothing concerns. Because a big focus of back-to-school season is often clothes shopping, it’s natural for kids to become fixated on their body, especially if things don’t fit the way they expect or want them to.
Maddie Friedman, a therapist at the virtual eating disorder treatment provider Equip, says that in her experience, she’s seen a number of different factors promote eating disorder behaviors as kids return to school: “Changes in clothing size, social comparison, and new stressors can activate underlying mental health conditions or a predisposition to eating disorders, and lead to maladaptive coping,” she explains.
How parents can help their children prepare for a new school year
While every child has unique needs, experts agree that there are some tactics that could help bolster a student’s confidence and support their eating disorder recovery during the particularly tumultuous time of transitioning into a new school year.
- Start talking early. A few weeks before the school year, initiate a frank conversation about the importance of moving from one life stage to the next. “Normalize changes to body shape and size!” Friedman says. “It is entirely appropriate—and expected—for children and adolescents to grow and gain from year to year. But our society feeds us unhealthy messaging about beauty ideals, so openly questioning and investigating these messages early and often can promote acceptance of all bodies.”
- Call on your community. “Seek support from your community to ensure that your family has the necessary supervision and assistance to promote success,” Friedman advises. “No carer has endless resources, and tapping out can be an essential tool for countering caregiver burnout. Have a teenager at home who may need support with an after school snack? Pull in a neighbor or sitter to provide intermediary support.”
- Follow your child’s lead on clothing selection. While back-to-school shopping has traditionally been considered an important rite of passage into the new school year, shifting the focus away from new clothes may be necessary as a child figures out what they feel comfortable wearing.
“Often parents make a big deal out of the ‘first day’ of school outfits and photos. Maybe downplay that a bit this year, or follow your kid’s lead on this,” says Laura Cohen, a family mentor at Equip. “If any clothes shopping is being done, don’t discuss any sizes or how clothes ‘look’ on your kiddos. Parents have good intentions and may not realize that what they think is a compliment can be really triggering.”
Friedman adds that parents may want to actively find ways to neutralize the perceived importance of clothing size. “From store to store and brand to brand, sizes are entirely inconsistent and therefore, meaningless,” she says. “The best clothes are the ones that feel good on your body, no matter what the label says. And maybe we cut out those labels because we don’t need to know that information anyway!”
Tips for parents to spark conversation with educators
Parents can prepare as much as possible for potential school stressors, but teachers and other school staff will be on the front lines once school is in session. If your child is in recovery or you worry they may be dealing with an eating disorder, it can be powerful to initiate a discussion with the people who work at their school. Having an educator who is empathetic and educated on eating disorders and body image issues can make a world of difference to young people who are struggling.
Here are some tips for starting those conversations:
- Communicate with teachers directly. Talking to your child’s teacher is key in terms of ensuring your child is supported during the school day. Having a principal, school nurse, or other school employee involved is great, but there’s no replacement for the person who has eyes on your child all day in the classroom.
- Draft an email chock full of info. Because the beginning of the school year is such a hectic time for educators, consider sending an email that they can refer back to when things calm down. Putting things in writing allows them to return to the information when it’s relevant, and when they have more time to respond and share appropriately. If you don’t hear back from them, follow up over the phone or in person after some time has passed.
- Talk to educators about the need for excused assignments. Talking with a child’s teachers ahead of the school year can help ensure a smooth transition back to the classroom, but in some cases, involving higher level administrators may be helpful as well. “For example, you may want to speak to your school’s administration about getting it in writing that your child will be excused from any assignment related to ‘health’ or ‘nutrition,’” Cohen suggests. “These tend to be common in gym and health classes, and often involve keeping a food/meal log or activity log, which can be harmful for those in recovery.”
- Make sure the treatment team is in the loop. Even if a child is prepared to return to school or start a new year after eating disorder treatment, it’s essential for members of the care team to remain in the know about ongoing developments. “Talk with your treatment team about your child returning to school and know that they are prepared to advocate on your behalf and support you in obtaining accommodations,” Friedman says.
A version of this article first appeared on equip.health.
Equip
Equip is the leading virtual, evidence-based eating disorder treatment program on a mission
to ensure that everyone with an eating disorder can access treatment that works.