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Samantha: We All Deserve Love!

By: Samantha N.

My name is Samantha. I am a social worker and therapist working with individuals struggling with mental health concerns in New Jersey. I am passionate about helping other people. I love music, traveling to new countries, and being around friends and family.

Perfectionism Takes Control

I had a happy childhood surrounded by the most amazing parents/family. I was a straight-A
student in school, an athlete who played multiple sports, and had a supportive (not huge) friend group. I became enthralled with this idea of “perfectionism” and when things went wrong, I thought of myself as a failure and deprived myself of self love and food. I was a people pleaser.

I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and obsessive compulsive disorder at the age of 12. I
was playing competitive soccer and running cross country at the time and let’s just say it’s a
miracle I made it through the season at the pace I was going at. I went through several relapses while in high school and in college triggered by stressors and other traumatic experiences in my life, in which I felt I had very little control. Although I thought at the time that my eating disorder gave me a sense of control, it really took away so much of my control and made me a completely different person, someone who pushed away their loved ones and was just not happy. I was slowly killing myself and I was in denial to seek help at times, although deep down, I knew I needed it. 

I was always so quick to help other people but could not help myself for some reason.

A Healing Journey To Love and Nourishment

I made up my mind at the age of 14 that I wanted to be a therapist and major in social work after meeting with a therapist myself and knowing the huge impact she had on my life. I knew that I wanted to help others too, just like she helped me. 

I still have days where I am not thrilled about how I look in the mirror, but I have come to accept my body as my own and appreciate what my body allows me to do. I have also been able to learn how to respect and nourish my body and just like anyone else, knowing I deserve love and nourishment too.

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Yoga

  • Reconnect with one’s body
    • Promotes mind-body connection, awareness of self, and acceptance.
  • Stress and anxiety reduction
    • Yoga activates the parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting our body’s stress responses.
    • Deep, slow breathing can reduce cortisol  levels (stress hormone) and help calm our minds.
  • Intentional movement
    • Yoga provides a space to mindfully enjoy movement and explore a healthy form of exercise.
  • Long term healing
    • Provides a practice to safely and sustainably lean into.
  • A space for community and support
    • Oftentimes, yoga is done in a group setting, which can increase feelings of connection and lower feelings of loneliness.

After the completion of 7–12 yoga classes, a statistically significant decrease in anxiety, depression, and body image disturbance was seen (Hall et al., 2016).

Explore trusted resources and products to support your healing journey.

Some classes are targeted for rigorous exercise, such as “heated flow” or “power flow.” Please be mindful with what you practice, and look for “slow flow,” “yin,” “vinyasa,” and “restorative” yoga in non-heated rooms.

Music

  • Music can have a powerful effect on people’s mood

    • listening to uplifting or calming songs can help reduce stress and anxious feelings.
  • Music stimulates the limbic system, the part of our brain responsible for processing emotions
    • music triggers the release of serotonin and dopamine, which are associated with reducing feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress (which are often associated with eating disorders)
  • Slow tempo music has been shown to decrease cortisol, our stress hormone, as well as lower blood pressure and reduce heart rate.
  • Music increases the brains neuroplasticity, enhancing brain functions like mood regulation, decision making, and memory.

A study done by Mindlab International revealed that the song “Weightless” by Marconi Union resulted in a 65% reduction in participants’ overall anxiety (Dr. David Lewis-Hodgson).

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  • Ludovico Einaudi
  • Claude Debussy
  • Johann Sebastian Bach
  • José González
  • Laraaji
  • Bill Evans
  • Vance Joy
  • The Paper Kites
  • Moby
  • Tycho

Aromatherapy

  • Aromatherapy can be a helpful, low- cost (or free) tool for people managing eating disorders.
  • Aromatherapy involves using essential oils to help manage emotions and restore balance.
  • Scents can help ground people, encouraging mindfulness about physical and emotional sensations.
  • Can promote a tranquil environment and give a sense (& scent) of peace.
    • creates an atmosphere for individuals to feel safe in processing emotions

Lavender has been shown to reduce anxiety levels. It is seen as a “anxiolytic” solution to providing a coping method for those with anxiety disorders (Yoo & Park, 2023).

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  • Lavender: calm, sleep, relax
  • Chamomile: calm
  • Rose: anxiety reduction
  • Lemon: energy, nausea reduction, concentration
  • Orange: brighten, uplift
  • Jasmine: anxiety reduce, sleep
  • Peppermint: alertness
  • Ylang ylang: calming, stress and anxiety reduction
  • Rosemary: focus

Art

  • Art can help provide a safe space for communication.
  • It can promote a sense of relaxation, and become a calming, meditative like experience (especially in “flow state”).
  • Gives an outlet and coping mechanism for managing difficult emotions.
  • Helps develop healthy habits and routines for self-management.
  • Increases an individuals sense of awareness and understanding of their emotions and thoughts.

Art can boost cognitive function, emotional resilience and self-confidence. It has also been shown to reduce stress and aid in conflict resolution (Hudson University, 2024).

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  • Coloring books
  • Digital coloring or drawing
  • Collaging
  • Sketchbook/journaling/ diary
  • Painting
  • Water coloring
  • Air dry clay (model magic) or traditional clay (ceramics)
  • Photography (use your phone!)
  • So much more!

Creative Journaling & Writing

  • Journaling allows space for self reflection, and emotional release.
  • Free writing can help you connect to your inner voice without judgment.
    • This can look like a steam on consciousness, a short story, or even poetry.
  • Both of these can give you space to problem solve, and look at a situation from a new angle.
  • Try out a prompt, or guided writing exercise if free writing isn’t your thing.
    • Examples & resources below!

Positive writing has been shown to promote positive emotions, as well as positive cognitive mechanisms in the general population (Lai et al., 2023).

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  • What are three things I’m grateful for today?
  • Write a letter to your future self. What do you want to tell them?
  • Write about a positive affirmation you want to start telling yourself.
  • How do you like to relax? Write about your favorite way to unwind.
  • What does “peace” look like to you? How can you bring more of it into your life?
  • What is something that always makes you laugh or brings you joy?

Self-Care / Self-Talk

Positive Self Talk

  • Positive affirmations are short, encouraging statements that can help build our self-esteem and challenge negative thoughts.
  • Repeating these statements daily can help foster a more loving relationship with yourself over time.
    • “Mirror-work” is when you look into the mirror and say kind, positive affirmations to yourself. It might feel awkward at first.
    • Try statements such as “I am enough,” “I am deserving of all the good things life has to offer,” or “I am strong, capable, and confident in everything I do.”
  • This can help build mental resilience, making it easier to cope with challenges and setbacks.
  • They can elevate your mood and promote a more optimistic view of life.
  • They help build confidence and self-worth by focusing on your strengths and capabilities.

Self Care

  • Self-care directly impacts emotional, psychological, and physical well-being.
  • Engaging in regular self care practices helps maintain balance and resilience, ensuring we can cope with life’s challenges.
  • Regular self-care allows the body and mind to recover, recharge, and maintain a sense of calm.
  • Taking care of yourself helps prevent burnout by ensuring you have the energy and mental capacity to meet the demands of life.
    • Without regular self care, you may become overwhelmed, leading to fatigue, frustration, and decreased productivity.
  • Giving yourself mental space helps clear your mind, improving focus, decision-making, and problem-solving.
  • Allows you to engage in activities that bring you joy, pleasure, and fulfillment. These experiences elevate mood and provide moments of peace and happiness.

Positive Self Talk

Affirming personal values has been linked to boosting ones happiness and meaning in life (Nelson et al., 2014). MRI’s show that self- affirmations affect brain activity! (Cascio et al., 2015).

Self Care

“Engaging in a self- care routine has been clinically proven to reduce or eliminate anxiety and depression, reduce stress, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy and more. From a physical health perspective, it has also been clinically proven to reduce heart disease, stroke and cancer” (Glowiak, 2024).

Explore trusted resources and products to support your healing journey.

POSITIVE SELF TALK

 

SELF CARE

  • Up to personal preference, ideas listed in the guide
  • Sleep: Make sure you get enough hours in
  • Making time for hobbies: painting, gardening, etc.
  • Doing chores: cleaning dishes, doing laundry, cleaning space, decluttering
  • Spending time outdoors: taking nature walks, sitting in a park
  • Being with people you love: friends, family, partners
  • Reading or learning: something of interest, and limiting technology/screen time
  • Personal care: shower, bath, deep breathing, meditation, massaging
  • Treating yourself: occasionally indulging yourself with something you love (ex: buying a new book, or a coffee from your favorite shop)
  • Mental care: attending peer support groups (for free with ANAD!), going to therapy (we can help connect you with someone)