I was a chubby kid but it didn’t bother me until high school. There were comments made by certain extended family members about my body as I grew up that stuck with me and by the end of high school and throughout college, I was incredibly uncomfortable in my body. I began exercising and skipping the occasional meal.
But things took a turn for the worse at 25 years-old when I was trying on wedding dresses. I was specifically told that my dress fits perfectly and to not gain or lose any weight. From there on out, I did everything in my power and control not to gain. My exercising became excessive and my restricting turned from skipping a meal or two into an obsession. My perfectionistic personality told me that I wasn’t allowed to eat more than my lowest calorie day and I couldn’t exercise any less than my longest workout to date. These thoughts took over my brain and my eating disorder began to spiral.
But, I found a great therapist. I also have a supportive husband and family. When I was pregnant with my first child, I took excellent care of myself and really started to feel “normal.” When I was pregnant with my second child, I moved away completely from eating disorder behaviors. My rigid view of what I should be eating was replaced with a more intuitive way of eating and exercising. I wanted to be a mom and that is what kept me fighting in my darkest hours.
My recovery had inspired me to help others who are suffering from eating disorders. I want to share my story in hopes that people in the trenches will see that recovery is possible and it is beautiful. So, keep going! It’s hard and there will be days when you feel like giving up, but life can and will get better.
I was a teacher and am now a stay at home mom to two beautiful boys.