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Recovery Story #20: She Saved These Pieces Of Her Past.

By December 8, 2017April 6th, 2020ANAD Blog

She loved her family, she loved her friends, and she loved to write. This little girl wrote more than any little girl before, and she couldn’t wait to grow up and turn her words into movies and television.

But as time went on, she slowly began to feel that light move away from her; slowly, she began to feel she was a different person. Emily became terrified of everything around her, feeling an overwhelming sense of incompleteness that had her paralyzed in fear. The lovely life she once had seemed so far in the past, and she didn’t know where it had run off to. Emily hid in the stories she would write, fearful of her presence in the world. In her desperation to be someone else, she got very, very sick. She wanted to look differently; to sound differently, to act differently. Her body didn’t feel right anymore, and she thought that maybe there was a way to make herself disappear.

Emily lived with Anorexia for 12 years, under the spell of an addiction that made it nearly impossible for her to live. The disease kept her locked in a mind that was once so creative and free, but now she knew the hospital better than her own home. She dropped out of college, went to rehab, and forgot every dream she had back when she loved herself. While still sick, she published her first memoir, “Reasons Why” a limited release containing journals from her darkest points of her teenage years.

She fought and clawed her way through the disease, living with a body with some pieces beyond repair. She received a total colectomy when she was 22, and lived with a colostomy bag for a year while her body healed from 3 emergency surgeries. Emily pushed on because she was beginning to feel that excitement she had way back when she was a little girl; she was beginning to see that maybe she could still have a future.

No matter what was happening inside of her, she continued to write; she made notes of every thought, every feeling, and every emotion from those long years. Pages and pages of stories and lessons piled up around her, flooding her room with the thoughts that came spilling out of her head. She saved these pieces of her past so that one day she could gather them and use them to help others fight their own darkness; she wanted them to see all of the beauty in the world.

Now she lives in Los Angeles, California, her Hollywood dreams safely back in their place. She hopes to find a publisher for her second book, ready to share her next chapter with the world and hopes that her words might bring light into the lives of those who suffer in any form.

And just like always, she can’t stop writing.