It all began when I moved to Managua, Nicaragua after college. This is where I became very conscious of the different foods I was eating and where I also began training for a marathon. I dropped about ten pounds without trying and suddenly my ED clicked on. My marathon training tied together my compulsive over-exercising and need for control over my calorie intake. My ED took over my life for the next 15 years- into my marriage, as a mother; entirely suffocating my personality and changing me into an isolated person whose life revolved around exercise and eating “healthy”.
My husband refused to give up on me even when I continually blew him off and ignored his warnings and pleas. He and a group of friends helped me see my ED and I allowed my husband to schedule me an appointment at a treatment center- thinking that it would be nothing more than a single doctor’s appointment. I ended up staying in treatment for weeks I truly believe that God brought me to the lowest point in my life to see that I needed him to save me, to redeem me, and to give me my life and personality back again.
I have 4 boys who need their mother to be present, patient, and all in for them. I have parents and siblings, friends old and new, coworkers, students, church friends, all people who prayed for me and never made me feel ashamed for getting help. Instead, God placed all these people in my life to stand beside me.
Don’t hide recovery from your loved ones. Recovery is worth it. It is worth having your life back. I have loved rediscovering my personality, finding my joy, becoming social again, doing all the things I enjoy with the time I used to spend using ED behaviors. I have made the decision to choose love, and every day I make that decision over and over again until ED has no power to fight back.
I am a wife and mother of 4.