Skip to main content

To the Girls Sitting Next to Me At Panera



Image credit:

half of my heart broke when you grabbed my attention with the words “look at her, she’s perfect”. the other half continued to crumble as you followed that up with “i’m done eating, i could literally die, her body is ‘goals’.”.

every bone in me wanted to stand up, break every imaginable social norm, and give each one of you a hug. i saw my 15 year old self and 11 year old cousin in your eyes and wished with everything in me that instagram would crash every time you opened it up to idolize another.

stop punishing yourself. stop believing anyone who convinced you that you’re not perfect just the way you are. yes, with your sweatpants on and with half a loaf of bread in your hand, you are perfect. just stop and look. look at each other when you talk. not at a screen. look at your friends for maybe you will start to see the incredible reflection of yourself that surely resides in their eyes. please look and listen. listen to anyone who believes that your personhood is not in the least bit reliant on your physicality. listen to me when i say that looks cannot kill, but obsessing over changing yours, can. listen to me when when i say that girl whom you have deemed as “perfect” is probably looking at your page thinking the same thing about you. listen to me when i say, you will be much happier once you start to love yourself unconditionally and without comparison.

Please, for the love of god, please listen to me when i say you do not need to change, and for as long as you are happy, you have won.


September 1, 2022

Back to School Resources

July 28, 2022

BIPOC Mental Health Month Resources

June 30, 2022

Pride Month Resources

May 27, 2022

Eating Disorders in the AAPI Community